You've realized you need more connection in your life. More real conversations. A crew of guys who actually get it.
But where do you start?
Finding a men's group can feel awkward. Most of us weren't taught how to seek out male friendship as adults. We just figured it would happen naturally. Spoiler: it doesn't.
Here's a practical guide to finding a men's group that actually fits.
Why Men's Groups Matter
Before we get into the how, let's be clear about the why.
Men are facing an epidemic of loneliness. A recent survey found that 1 in 5 men report having no close friends. We're working longer hours, moving more often, and losing the natural gathering places that used to create community.
A good men's group provides:
- Regular connection with other men who show up consistently
- A space to be real about what's actually going on in your life
- Accountability to become the man you want to be
- Perspective from men in different life stages
- Friendship built on more than just surface-level interests
What to Look For in a Men's Group
Not all men's groups are created equal. Here's what separates the good ones from the rest:
1. Consistent Meeting Schedule
Groups that meet sporadically don't build trust. Look for weekly or bi-weekly meetings. Consistency is what transforms strangers into brothers.
2. Structure Without Rigidity
The best groups have a format—a way of checking in, sharing, and engaging—but don't feel like a corporate meeting. There should be room for real conversation, not just going through motions.
3. Facilitation
Good groups have someone (or a rotating someone) who keeps things on track. Without facilitation, conversations can get stuck on surface topics or dominated by one person.
4. Confidentiality
What's said in the group stays in the group. This is non-negotiable. Without trust, there's no depth.
5. Diversity of Perspectives
You want men in different life stages—single guys, married men, new dads, empty nesters. The diversity creates richer conversations and broader perspective.
Where to Find Men's Groups
Online Communities
If there's nothing local, start online. Communities like EVRYMAN offer virtual groups with men from around the world. You get the connection without the geography requirement.
Benefits of online groups:
- Join from anywhere
- Flexible scheduling
- Often easier to start with (less intimidating)
- Can lead to in-person connections later
Local Options
- Churches and faith communities — Many have men's groups, even if you're not particularly religious
- Meetup.com — Search for men's groups in your area
- CrossFit gyms, running clubs, sports leagues — Activity-based, but can lead to deeper connections
- Therapist referrals — Many therapists know of local men's groups
- Community centers — Check bulletin boards and event calendars
Start Your Own
Can't find what you're looking for? Start it.
- Text 3-5 guys you respect
- Suggest a monthly breakfast or coffee
- Propose one rule: no small talk, real conversation only
- Show up consistently for 3 months
- Watch what happens
Red Flags to Avoid
Not every men's group is healthy. Watch out for:
- Groups that shame vulnerability — If you're mocked for sharing, leave
- Cult-like dynamics — If there's pressure to recruit or pay huge fees, be cautious
- Echo chambers — Healthy groups challenge you, not just validate you
- No structure at all — Groups without any format often become just drinking buddies
- One person dominates — Good groups share the floor
Take the First Step
Here's the truth: finding a men's group requires initiative. No one's going to knock on your door and invite you.
You have to choose to prioritize connection. To show up even when it feels awkward. To give it time to build.
The payoff is worth it. Men who have strong male friendships report higher life satisfaction, better mental health, and more resilience through hard times.
You don't have to do life alone. But you do have to take the first step.
Ready to skip the search? Join EVRYMAN and get matched with a crew of men who show up every week.
