Name: Joe Hawley (@Joe.Hawley)
Location: Austin, TX
Who are you?
I’m a former NFL Offensive Lineman turned entrepreneur, author and investor. After 8 seasons in the NFL, with both the Atlanta Falcons and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I retired in 2017 and went on a journey that changed my life forever. Like most former professional athletes, I was lost without the sport I’d spent my entire life pursuing greatness at, and needed some time to find myself. So, I gave everything I owned to a local charity, rescued a dog from the shelter (named her Freedom), bought a van and hit the road for the better part of two years to experience both my own freedom and discover deeper meaning and purpose in my life.
During that time I joined a few different communities that helped me heal, connect with my emotions and love myself more fully. One of those communities was EVRYMAN.
I realized that having community is the piece every former athlete misses during the transition out of sport. This led me to create The Härt Collective, a community built exclusively for former male professional athletes to support, learn and grow with one another on the journey toward finding deeper meaning outside of sports.
When did your EVRYMAN journey begin?
I went to a workshop that Dan Doty was hosting in 2019 and instantly knew I wanted to experience an EVRYMAN retreat as well as continue learning how to facilitate in order to bring this type of experience to my own community of former athletes. That led me to my first open source retreat in Joshua Tree, CA which really helped me understand and realize how powerful it can be to bring a group of men together in, and guide them towards, presence and love.
I’m so grateful for EVRYMAN and their team of incredible men who continue to be examples of what it means to embody healed masculinity, showing up with vulnerability and heart. They continue to teach and support me on my own journey towards bringing this type of presence and vulnerability to other men which I know will continue to send ripples of positive change out into the world.
Who were you before? Who are you now? Who do you want to become?
When I look back on my life up to this point, especially over the last two years when I’ve been on a deep healing journey, I know that I’ve changed in so many profound ways. But my essence, that part of who I am, who I was, and what I want to become hasn’t changed, it’s always been right there waiting for me to come back to it.
I believe we all have a deep part of who we are, the essence of our spirit, that wants to be experienced in this life, the problem is we develop resistance, fear, shame and guilt that gets in the way of our true expression. We begin to put masks on in order to interact with the world in ways that we think we need to. So when you ask me who I want to become.. I’d say it’s more about coming back to myself, my higher self, my capital S, Self, more than it is trying to become something else. It’s not about where I want to go, it’s about what I need to let go of, release, surrender in order to come back to my true expression, allowing it to show up fully, in love, with presence. This is the journey that I’m on, this is the journey that we’re all on.
Who has EVRYMAN impacted the most in your life?
EVRYMAN is a beautiful example of what is possible when men decide to show up in a vulnerable way which can be extremely frightening for most guys, especially in our society. But, when we do show up for ourselves, our families and our communities, that’s where magic begins to happen, and I can see that magic beginning to ripple out into the world in a big way. What a time to be alive!
If you could have one person join EVRYMAN who would it be?
I truly believe in order to heal the world, we must first heal ourselves. In fact, this is the only way. I’ve been experiencing this in my own life with my father and brother. They have been opening up more, expressing more, and loving more than I’ve ever seen and it’s not because of anything I’ve said but because of the presence and vulnerability I’ve been able to show up in our relationships with. I’d love for both of them to experience EVRYMAN in a deeper, more personal way, but that will come in their own time. All I can do is continue to love them, support them, and be the man I’m meant to be. That’s what heals, that’s what changes the world.
We are on the cusp of a major collective shift in our world. As men, we’ve grown up in a society that’s told us it’s weak to cry, to not show emotion; we need to be strong, we need to be a leader but we’ve never really been shown how. As a collective, we haven’t stepped into our true masculinity, we’ve missed the mark, we’ve come up short. There aren’t many examples of healed masculinity in our culture, but that’s why it’s time for a change. Now is the time that we show up for ourselves, for our families, for those we love the most, and show them what it really means to be a strong, connected, emotionally intelligent man; a real leader, an example to our youth, a person that people gravitate towards for advice, love and support. We are all in this together, it’s going to take everyone, it’s going to take EVRYMAN.
With decades of experience in running groups for men, EVRYMAN has distilled basic principles for drawing men out emotionally and expanding their emotional capacity.
Join EVRYMAN presenters Owen Marcus and Paul Browde for a three-day workshop designed for both female, male, and non-binary trained therapists, coaches, and other mental health professionals to learn skills and techniques to engage men in inner self-inquiry.